It's right in front of you. Make the leap, put in the effort, go through the hardship, deal with it, and get over yourself.
Instead, you do whatever you can to get your mind off of thinking about anything that doesn't make you feel good. TV, movies, sleeping, pointless conversations, mind-numbing activities.
And then you complain about how difficult it is, both choices, making you feel like it's a lose-lose.
Making it all about you, you, you.
It's a big responsibility, no wonder there are so many messed up people in the world, probably dealing with so much worse. If it were that easy, no one would have any problems.
I told myself that when I started this blog that I wouldn't ever really write anything serious or sad.. or emo.. or depressing or.. not happy I guess.. but I realized it's unrealistic. You watch movies, tv shows, or read other people's blogs.. and a lot of the time it just makes it seem like s/he or they have it all together, a perfect life, the type of life you want, characteristics you wish you could be more like, but it's just sets you up to have some impossible standard you're probably never going to reach. And maybe I also never wanted to write anything like this because I didn't want people to know this side of me, which is funny because I am always so quick to share if you ever talk with me.. but here's to... a sucky post! because life's just sucky sometimes!
"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-- this I keep on doing"
It's so easy to just blow through Spring Break.. even bumming at home, it's pretty easy to go through the entire day even if you have no concrete schedule just filling it with pointless activities. Okay, here's to actually trying to put some things into actual action.. and less avoiding and denial. Here goes.. first move: a prayer that lasts for more than 10 seconds and isn't said right before a meal. I know I've been purposely avoiding this one for awhile..
No comments:
Post a Comment