i.... part 2

• i am loving john mayer's songs and voice.. but it just does not fit his body and what he looks like, and i find it unsettling.. hindering me from loving his songs as much as i should.
• i haven't enjoyed a textbook so much before (no sarcasm). thank you social psychology.
• i hate washing up.. but i love the anticipation right before im about to wash up because i know i'm going to feel so excited afterwards because i'm done washing up.. HAHA.
• never again will i have such big gaps in my schedule.. it's like setting myself up to miss class.. taking an extra nap here and there.
• i love st. marys breakfast. it's quiet and peaceful and they always have oatmeal.
• i love how excited my mom's voice is when i call her.
• i love talking with my grandma on the phone because she reminds me every time that i should be enjoying studying and school right now because it'll be really different once you have a job and start working. and she always talks about how the dogs are doing.
• i have been drooling lately when i sleep. gross :|
• i have these songs on my youtube playlist recently: [still] hold it against me by sam tsui, chris brown's look at me now, john mayer's clarity and no such thing, damien rice's 9 crimes, & regina spektor's laughing with. it's my study mix.

i....

• it's crazy how hearing one word/phrase/comment from someone/anyone, can make you feel so mad, angry, lonely, paranoid, upset, happy, encouraged, smiley, etc.
  
• i need to really stop skipping classes, what a bad habit.. & waste of money :\
  
• i'm really in the organizing mood right now: uploading pictures, getting things done on my check list, cleaning my desk, folding all my clothes just laying around.
  
• i am currently listening right now to these songs on my youtube playlist: sam tsui's version of hold it against me, s&m, lazy song, black&yellow.
  
• i had a much-needed cry session today.. my first one in a reaaaaally long time (thank you for listening & the advice). yes, i cry easily during movies but I can't remember the last time i actually cried for something else. i think the last time i cried this much from a movie was when i watched terms of endearment.. tissues tissues everywhere HAHA
• i miss my grandma.. and taco. i just saw them lie 6 hours ago.... sometimes a couple hours home on sunday aren't enough.. or maybe i'm just a baby hahaha.

i have absolutely no idea how this week is going to go: lets gooo.

story of my life right now.
maybe that's why I haven't been writing any blog posts...
bruno <3

up down up down up down up down up down.

seriously sooo good.

Plop.

It's right in front of you. Make the leap, put in the effort, go through the hardship, deal with it, and get over yourself.
Instead, you do whatever you can to get your mind off of thinking about anything that doesn't make you feel good. TV, movies, sleeping, pointless conversations, mind-numbing activities.
And then you complain about how difficult it is, both choices, making you feel like it's a lose-lose.
Making it all about you, you, you.
It's a big responsibility, no wonder there are so many messed up people in the world, probably dealing with so much worse. If it were that easy, no one would have any problems.

I told myself that when I started this blog that I wouldn't ever really write anything serious or sad.. or emo.. or depressing or.. not happy I guess.. but I realized it's unrealistic. You watch movies, tv shows, or read other people's blogs.. and a lot of the time it just makes it seem like s/he or they have it all together, a perfect life, the type of life you want, characteristics you wish you could be more like, but it's just sets you up to have some impossible standard you're probably never going to reach. And maybe I also never wanted to write anything like this because I didn't want people to know this side of me, which is funny because I am always so quick to share if you ever talk with me.. but here's to... a sucky post! because life's just sucky sometimes!

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-- this I keep on doing"

It's so easy to just blow through Spring Break.. even bumming at home, it's pretty easy to go through the entire day even if you have no concrete schedule just filling it with pointless activities. Okay, here's to actually trying to put some things into actual action.. and less avoiding and denial. Here goes.. first move: a prayer that lasts for more than 10 seconds and isn't said right before a meal. I know I've been purposely avoiding this one for awhile..

spring break =

• catching up on sleep. I slept 11 hours from Sunday to Monday and managed to take another nap during that day.

• taking naps without having to worry about what work you have to do once you wake up.

• using my brother's netflix account to watch movies.
  
  
• having the comfort of my own bed & bathroommm <3
  
  
• sneaking down at 1 in the morning to eat some leftover kimchee jigae from dinner and making a pb&j sandwich with a glass of milk.
  
  
• catching up on reading. currently reading: crazy love.
  
  
• hanging out w/ the grams, the rents, and the dogs <3
  
  
• probably watching movies or grabbing fast food w/ my brother.
  
  
• restocking on all the things that I've ran out of at school.
  
  
• browsing spring clothes online.
  
  
• catching up w/ people in the area.
  
  
• korean food or fast food every meal, every day.
  
  
• thinking about the work you could/should catch up on or could get ahead on.. but probably not doing it.